


Dare to Dance?

by Lady_Nightshade



Series: Just Another Day in the Tower [9]
Category: Fantastic Four (Movieverse), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Dance dare, Darcy and Jarvis are Soulmates in the background, Darcy introduces the team to dance dares, Fantastic 4 are in it but don't talk, Gen, Single Ladies dance, So much crack that I should be raided by the cops, Thriller, macarena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:44:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2688155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Nightshade/pseuds/Lady_Nightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy introduces the Avengers to dance dares after Jarvis shows her some videos of them thinking she'll enjoy them.  What follows is a mad week of dancing and sneaking.</p><p>Regular humans are 10. SHIELD agents are 15. Avengers and other super heroes start out at a baseline of 20. Enhanced/special trained heroes such as spysassins, super soldiers, Asgardians, and Hulk are 25.  Bucky is special at 30 since he's a combo of spysassin and super soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dare to Dance?

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me why, but sometime last night as I was drifting off to sleep I thought that the Avengers doing dance dares would be hilarious. Let me know if you think they're as funny as I do. Just my own proofing so there's mistakes and they're mine. Oops. 
> 
> Characters property of Marvel, not me.
> 
> EDIT: I had to go back in and fix a few numbers. Math. Oops XD

* * *

 

Clint and Natasha rode the elevator up to the common floors in comfortable silence.  It was the type of silence that only truly developed after years of being at ease with another person.  Usually their silences were actually filled with silent conversations through gestures, expressions, and glances.  But today they rode in simple, enjoyable silent silence.  Clint had never told anyone, but these were some of his favorite moments. But then, he didn’t need to, because Natasha knew just by looking at him.  Even when he didn’t mean to say anything, she could tell what it was he wasn’t saying.  

As they reached their destination, the doors opened with a TARDIS sound (Clint wondered when Tony would get tired enough of it to tell Jarvis to go back to the ‘ding’ that usually sufficed as the announcement of arrival.  Probably not so long as it continued to make Bucky laugh.  Ever since Darcy had introduced them to Doctor Who the soldier had enjoyed the small jokes Jarvis seemed to make about the show.  The elevator doors on his and Steve’s apartment floor had even been painted the signature TARDIS blue with white windows and a paper notice of a phone for public use.).

Stepping out they were greeted with the faint sounds of Darcy’s laughter.  Something had her in stiches.  Darcy’s laughter was a favorite with the team.  It never ceased to make them smile- it was just so infectious and honest. She didn’t try to hide or muffle it. It was loud, joyful, and in your face. And they liked it that way.

From above, Jarvis’s voice held what Clint could only describe as a tone of pure male pride. He was obviously the cause of hr joy and quite pleased with himself for it.  "Another, Darcy?" The AI actually sounded smug.  They were actually pretty cute together. Clint reasoned that Jarvis knew full well Darcy was currently incapable of responding to him. Who knew Jarvis had such a mischievous side to him?

Darcy was doubled over on the couch in tears. She gulped for air as she desperately tried, and failed, to stop laughing. “Oh Thor _YES_! Jarvis, these are hilarious! How did I not know about this?”

Jarvis was patiently waiting for her to regain at least a small amount of composure before showing her ‘another’ of whatever it was he was showing her.  The spies came in and joined her on the couch as they also waited for her to calm down.

“How now, brown cow?” Clint teased as she wiped her eyes. There was no denying that Clint and Natasha were spies.  They were also assassins.  Darcy had dubbed them the spysassins.  While neither would openly admit it, they both enjoyed the fact that they had a joint nickname from her.  Still, whenever he could, Clint would sneak in spy movie references and lines, hoping she’d get them. And let’s be honest- this was Darcy- she _always_ got them.

Darcy rolled her eyes at Clint’s choice in movie quotes today.  “Really, Barton? _Really_? Of all the spy movies to choose from you pick _The Avengers_? Don’t you think that’s a little much?”

“Darlin’, there’s no such thing as too much of me.”

Darcy rolled her eyes.  “So does that make Nat your Mrs. Peel?”

Natasha didn’t miss a beat.  “I suppose Mother warned you about women like me?”

Clint quipped back with the playful ease that Darcy admired about their relationship.  “Until now, I didn’t know there _were_ women like you."

Darcy rolled her eyes.  They were the perfect John Steed and Emma Peel- why hadn’t she seen it before?  “Steed, Peel- before you guys sail away in your pea green boat, you have to watch these- they’re _hilarious_!”

Natasha gave her a fond quirk of the lips as she turned away from Clint.  “What are you watching?”

“ _Dance dares!_ ” Darcy responded with all of the enthusiasm of box full of puppies.

Natasha gave her an indulgent smile. “Explain.”

“You go up behind someone and dance. You have to stay undetected the whole time.  If they catch you, then you can’t count it as a point in your favor.  It sounds kind of lame, but it’s beyond funny to watch. Jarvis?”

“I believe I have the perfect dance dare introduction for agents Romanov and Barton.”  The TV screen came to life as a youtube clip of Emma Stone on the Ellen Show began to play. The three watched as the actress shook what her mamma had given her for the camera behind the backs of various crew members and celebrities all while she avoided being caught. It was actually quite impressive if the spies were honest with themselves. 

Clint laughed.  “Not bad- she’d make a good agent.” 

Even Natasha had to admit, “She’s got stealth.”

“And with such style!” Clint finished with a chuckle.

Suddenly Darcy got a gleam in her eyes- one that was usually reserved for Tony and his crazy science ideas.  Neither spysassin was entirely sure they felt comfortable with that gleam.  “We should do this.”

Clint rolled his eyes. 

“No, no- hear me out.” Darcy said, holding her hands up at him.  “Think about it- it’ll be fun. We get each of the other residents in the tower.  Jarvis can film it, and at the end, we can do a screening of them all.  We can even set up a points system!”

Natasha actually looked intrigued. She did love a good competition. “What do you propose?”

“Everyone in the tower is worth a different amount of points.  We could base it off of how hard we think they’ll be to dance dare based off of skills, training, and senses.  If we get caught, not only do we not get those points, but we lose some as well.  We set a time limit- like you have to dance for at least 30 seconds without being noticed for it to count.  We’ll have one week.  In that time we have to rack up as many points as possible.  Jarvis can record and keep score.  At the end, we’ll tally our points and then winner gets bragging rights at the showing.”

Both Natasha and Clint smiled. Clint did love a good prank. And if they played their cards right, no one would know until the very end. 

Darcy was smiling at them like a super villain. “So what do you say, Avengers? Dare to dance?”

*

Jarvis had sounded very enthusiastic at the idea. He and Darcy had become quite the pair and he seemed to delight in taking part in her schemes- no matter what they were. Several of the Avengers suspected he enjoyed being included just as much as he enjoyed the fact that it was his Soulmate he was doing things with.  He had requested if it was possible for the bots to count as well. Darcy had nearly cackled at the thought of doing Tony with the bots behind her.  They decided for each extra person or bot that you got to join you in dancing behind someone unnoticed you were awarded an extra 2 points per person danced behind.  You got to do this with each additional dancer.

They decided on the points system as follows:

Every regular person had a base reading of 10 points. This was applied to the general civilians.  Pepper, Erik, Jane, Happy, Darcy herself, and any other workers like interns, secretaries, clerks, gophers, and so on.  SHIELD agents came next at 15.  They were human, but they also had special training.  The Avengers themselves were all worth 20 to start with but went up based on their training, species, and serum factor.  Any other super heroes visiting the tower would be worth a base of 20 points as well and would also increase based off of enhancements, mutations, skills, and training. 

Tony and Sam were at 20 because while both great in a fight, they were both unenhanced humans without the special skills the others had.  The Fantastic four were scheduled for a visit and though enhanced, all lacked the special senses that others had to detect them so they were also labeled as being 20. Most of the X-Men (though they wouldn’t be around for a while) fell under this as well.  The spies were 25 as were Thor and Bruce. The spies because of their spysassin training, Thor because of his species (Asgardian had to count for more than just tall, blond, and muscles for days), and Bruce because of the Hulk. The Warriors Three and Sif were also dubbed at 25 because they were also Asgardian and while they weren’t known as gods like Thor was, they were still Asgardian and totally badass. Steve was 25 as well because of the Serum factor.

Bucky was determined as being worth the most points. He was both a spysassin and a super soldier (having been enhanced by a serum closely related to Steve’s). It was decided that he would be the mythical unicorn of 30 points.  It was later decided that Wolverine and Spiderman would be added to the 30’s as well. Each for their animal instincts that could smell and or sense someone dancing behind them.  While they weren’t planned to be in the tower that week, the three of them agreed that their next visit would mean another dance dare week.

It was decided that if you got caught, you’d lose 10 points from your overall score.  This however, could only happen if your target themselves caught you- not someone else. If the target didn’t catch you dancing, then you got half points because you were tattled on without reaching the full 30 seconds.  If you managed to dance up behind a group of people you got to add all of their points up. If that group caught you though, you lost 20 points instead of just 10.  If they turned before the 30 seconds but you managed to walk it off before they realized what you were doing, then you lost no points, but gained none either.  Jarvis kept track of everything.

*

Darcy opted to work her way up gradually from the 20’s category.  Since she had to be in the labs Monday morning anyway, she figured she’d start there. It was the perfect place when she thought about it- everyone expected her to be there (unlike the spysassins) and they would all be too involved in whatever they were doing to pay her any attention. 

Darcy was expecting Jane to be by far the easiest to do.  Science tended to keep her pretty occupied. She expected the others in the lab to be pretty easy as well.  She danced up on each of them periodically through out the day just as easily as she’d expected.  What she _hadn’t_ expected was for Bruce to catch her dancing and to actually cause a distraction for her. 

Darcy had been dancing up on Jane for the third time that day when she’d looked up and had seen Bruce watching her from across the lab with an amused tight lipped smile.  She’d pressed her finger to her lips in a silent plea for him not to rat her out.  He’d simply nodded and pretended to zip his lips closed.  Bruce was a total rock star for that.  After Darcy had finished she turned back to find him typing away at a computer- nothing unusual.

What she didn’t know was Bruce was asking Jarvis through instant chat what his Soulmate was doing.  Jarvis had told Bruce since he’d outright caught Darcy and hadn’t given her away.  It was still early in the day and the first day of the competition, Jarvis offered Bruce a chance to participate thinking perhaps the man would like to join. Bruce had declined, but _had_ asked Jarvis for the points system.

Later in the day the Fantastic Four were visiting the tower.  Dr. Reed, Sue, and Ben were all walking into the labs when Darcy got a chat message from Bruce that simply said, “ _Jackpot_.” Bruce had called the three, plus Jane, and the various other assistants over to him to share his findings and show them a demonstration of something that sounded completely made up to Darcy (but they all seemed interested and entranced so who was she to look a gift Hulk in the mouth?).  

Johnny Storm aka the Human (match-stick) Torch had caught her, as he’d come sauntering into the labs after everyone. Being a fan of pop culture he’d immediately known what Darcy was doing.  He’d raised a brow at her but she just pressed her finger to her lips at him and then waved him over to join. Together the two of them danced back and forth behind the group.  After, during a coffee run that Johnny joined Darcy on, he made sure that he and the other members of the 4 were invited to the showing night.  He couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces.

By the time Darcy was clocking out for the day she was sitting pretty on a huge pile of points.  But as it would turn out, so were the spysassins.

Natasha had managed to get each individual member of a tour group of new agents that Clint was showing around the lower levels of the tower as well as catch them all as a group several times. She even managed to get Clint. _Twice_. Clint had managed to get quite a large score himself.  He’d gone through most of the lower levels of cubical workers and had stalked the hallways from the air vents, dropping down, dance-walking behind people, and jumping back up into the next vents before anyone knew he’d been there.

*

In the days that followed, they each tried to get as many dares in as possible.  Some places were better than others.  The elevator, while an enclosed space that ensured the target had no place to go, was also very shiny and would show your reflection.  Tony’s lab was large, loud, and full of stuff- the perfect place since he was always distracted.  They quickly learned that some of the Avengers, despite their abilities, were easier to prank than others. 

Darcy first got Steve while he was walking with Bucky down a hallway.  She’d hoped to get them both but she’d seen Bucky notice her out of the corner of his eye and smirk at her.  Damn, that’d cost her 20 points. But instead of snitching on her to Steve, he’d actually clapped his hand on the man’s shoulder and ensured he was too deep in conversation to notice.  Hours later while Steve was in the shower after a work out Bucky found Darcy dancing behind Pepper as the woman walked down the hall from the labs. After a brief explanation and a run down of the points system Darcy asked if Bucky would like to join in the competition, though he’d be at a disadvantage as the rest of them all had a day on him. Bucky declined but after that he helped her get Steve another 10 times in total.  Bucky thought it was hilarious.  It had taken all of his training to keep a straight face when Natasha and Clint had each danced into Steve’s space, both making spanking motions. They’d each left the room only to swivel back in together doing the tango right up to Steve’s back- complete with rose in mouth.

Surprisingly, Sam was more difficult than they initially expected he’d be.  He always seems to just know when someone was dancing around him.  The first time she’d tried, Sam had caught Darcy with a laugh. “I _knew_ there was rhythm going on somewhere near by,” he’d said cheerfully as he began busting out moves of his own.  The two of them ended up in an impromptu dance off. Thor had ended up joining in thinking it was an actual celebration of something.

Everyone was able to get Thor several times. He was easy so long as there was food or Jane.  Though one of the best things about him, they all quickly realized, was that when someone had his attention, they had his _full_ attention so all other distractions faded into the background.  It was actually nice to realize you’d have his full focus if you wanted it.  It was also nice because it made him extra easy.  The three of them had all joined in to get Thor as he rummaged around in the refrigerator later in the kitchen.  At first they’d each danced individually, but eventually all ended up doing the Macarena behind him.

After that they started teaming up more.

When Thor’s friends came for their visit Darcy, Natasha, and Clint were all able to get them as well.  All save for Sif, who caught them almost immediately. But instead of asking what they were doing and blowing their cover, she’d simply given a small smile let them get the rest of their points. Later, after an explanation, she eagerly asked to participate.  There were few things funnier to Darcy than seeing the powerful woman shimmy and shake behind the backs of her fellow warriors.  The woman was _good_ too- she’d been playing 'Just Dance' with Sam the last time she was planet side.  Beyoncé was her favorite. 

Darcy and Sif were walking into the common room the next day when they caught Natasha dancing behind the rest of the team. Not wanting to get her caught, both of the women were about to quietly turn around when the spysassin raised her eyebrow at them in invitation.  Darcy did a silent dance of glee before grabbing Sif and pulling her into the room to dance with Nat.  Sif had started doing Beyoncé’s Single Ladies dance, which both Darcy and Natasha gladly flanked her in. They managed to get through most of the dance before they had to break apart and pretend like they’d all just walked in together before anyone noticed. 

*

Toward the end of the week Darcy was running between the various labs when she had to run down to Tony’s workshop. The great thing about the workshop as they’d figured out earlier, was that it was loud.  So the chances of Tony hearing you dance were 10,000 to 1.

Jarvis let her in knowing she had papers that needed Tony’s signature.  Deafening music assaulted her the moment she stepped inside the almost soundproof workshop. Seeing Tony’s back was to her, Darcy stuck the file folder between her lips and began doing the Thriller dance behind him once she was close enough.  The bots joined her.  Suddenly Clint dropped down from the impossibly high ceiling and joined without missing a step. When they turned to the right Darcy saw Natasha dancing along as well. She didn’t even begin to try to understand where the woman may have come from- it was like she’d just materialized out of thin air.  Up until these two, Darcy had never thought people could _actually_ ninja in and out of places. She knew better now.

Without warning Tony turned around and caught sight of Darcy.  She was standing alone, looking down at the file in her hands shuffling papers as she pulled them out and looked up at him.  The bots were zipping happily around her feet. 

Darcy smiled sweetly.  “Hey boss man, I need your autograph.”

*

They got so good that by the last day they were able to run a conga line behind virtually an entire floor of workers that consisted of Darcy, Clint, Natasha, Sif, _and_ most of the bots.  Natasha was waving around empty maracas and Clint had thrown on a poncho.  Darcy had no idea from where.

Sunday night rolled around and the team, those closest to them, and the Fantastic 4 were all gathered into the screening room for a ‘special showing’ of something- though most of them had no idea what. Darcy jumped up front and waited for everyone to get comfortable. 

“Most of you are not aware, but we’ve had a competition going this week.” Johnny snickered while Bruce ducked his head and chuckled. Bucky looked smug. “A few of you noticed,” Darcy said, eyeing the three of them, “but most of you remained blissfully unaware. Which is what made it so much fun. We’ve been doing something called dance dares all week.” 

Sam burst into laughter, realizing he’d been completely oblivious.  Natasha smiled smugly. She’d managed to get him several times without his sensing her. 

Darcy continued, a huge smile on her face at the confusion of the others.  “During a dance dare, you spot your target, get into their personal space, and then dance behind them undetected.  We put everyone into a points category based off of training, serum, and planetary origin, and then tried to rack up the most points.”  The rest of the group was shaking their heads with various degrees of amusement in their eyes.  “Jarvis has been filming and keeping score for us.  He’s put the highlights together with music and will announce the winner at the end. We thought you’d all like to watch with us!  Ready Jarvis?”

“Ready.”

“Roll film!”

No one could believe what had gone on behind their backs all week.  Neither of the teams or their friends could remember laughing that hard in a long time. Jarvis had certainly put together the most hilarious moments.  His choice in music was spot on too. As the reel ended, Tony, who always enjoyed a good prank, was already trying to think of who else he could invite to the tower so that they could have another dance dare challenge week.

“Ok Jarvis,” Clint said, “Let’s see the scores.”

“Actually, Agent Barton, there is still more footage to show.” 

Everyone stopped chatting.  “ _Really_?” Darcy asked sounding confused. They hadn’t talked about Jarvis making a second reel.”

“Yes.  Shall I show it?” Jarvis asked sounding surprisingly innocent. Darcy wasn’t buying it. He was up to something.

Tony smiled.  “Roll it, buddy.” 

Everyone watched expectantly as the reel began to play. What followed was nothing short of an uproar of laughter as they watched Bucky catch every single member of the team and tons of random building and lab staff.  Even Bruce made an appearance at one point as he and Bucky walked like an Egyptian behind Tony before Voguing behind Steve. Darcy was so shocked her jaw dropped like it had come unhinged.  Jarvis then flashed the end tally, revealing that Bucky had in fact won.

“ _Sonovabitch_!” Darcy gasped out in disbelief.  “How did you manage _THAT_?”

Bucky shrugged.  “Guess I never told you I liked to dance, huh doll?”

Natasha wordless held her palm out in front of Clint’s chest.  “ _Yeah_ , _yeah_ ,” Clint sighed, digging out his wallet and giving her $50.

Darcy gaped at them.  “You guys had a side bet going?  And you bet that _Bucky_ _would win_? We didn’t even know he was _participating_!”

Clint crossed his arms and shook his head in defeat. “Which is why I thought I’d win the bet. Moral of the story? Don’t bet with Nat.”

“Remember, Clinton.”  Natasha smiled smugly.  “Mother warns about women like me.”

* * *

 

Here's a gif of Emma Stone doing a dance dare:

**Author's Note:**

> The Avengers is obviously the name of the movie featuring Marvel’s Avengers. It’s also the name of another movie that features British spies. It’s based off of an old TV show from the 60’s. The two characters are John Steed and Emma Peel. I’ve never watched the show but watched the movie as a kid. It’s cheesy but fun (my favorite kind of movie). The quote about the brown cow and Mother are from the movie. The mention of the pea green boat is a reference to something Mrs. Peel says in it.
> 
> If you have never seen a dance dare, watch one. Seriously, it’s hilarious. Though my favorite is the Emma Stone one when she’s on Ellen. Youtube it. 
> 
> Let us be clear- I think Tony and Sam have special skills. Tony built Iron Man- he’s kind of the Emit (from The Lego Movie) of the Avenger’s Tower. Think about it- he gets the most outlandish ideas, builds them, and makes it work. He’s a genius and creative as all hell. Sam has great skills too- he’s a soldier and is trained to fly with those wings. But neither of them are super soldiers OR spysassins. They aren’t even regular spies. Thus their base score of 20 points only. So no hate mail on it. Because I think they’re both awesome (Tony is actually my favorite character and I love that Sam dove in and just helped in the movies- like he literally just picks up and leaves his work to help).
> 
> There might be a dance dare part 2 in the future, but I’m not sure.


End file.
